Resolving Conflict Is Simple

It may seem complex, but it is not.

Conflicts that involve several people and multiple issues may take longer, but the process of conflict resolution is simple and ALWAYS includes these five principles:

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Conflict=disagreement and nothing more

Give up your need to be right, never your need

   

Give others what they need

“Take it or leave it” is an appropriate strategy

If X..Then Y is how how all conflicts are resolved

copyright 2009 and all prior years. Larry Barkan. All rights reserved.

Below is an example of what you’ll find on the

Conflict Resolution Resources page.

I’m continually adding articles, so check back frequently

to continue your conflict resolution training. 

The “Law” Of Conflict Resolution

Ever wonder why some conflicts never seem to get resolved? Perhaps you’re violating the law.

I suggest that the brilliant scientist Isaac Newton not only gave us the law of gravity. He also gave us the “law” of resolving conflicts.

Newton wrote that “for every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction.” For example, when an airplane lands, the pilot applies the brakes, but your body continues forward and you have to “push” against the slowing plane until you and the plane are moving at the same speed and equilibrium is established.

Similarly, in a conflict, for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. If you are “pushing” (i.e., fighting hard for your position), the other person must push back equally hard in order not to be “pushed over” in an attempt to establish equilibrium with you.

Newton’s law of gravity applied to the world of conflict suggests that arguing for your position produces more arguing and listening to another’s position produces more listening.

So think about a conflict you’re in that just is not getting resolved and apply Newton’s law to that conflict:

1.If the people you’re in conflict with are being obstinate, you must give up your need to be right.

2.If the people you’re in conflict with won’t listen to you, you must do a better job of listening.

3.If the people you’re in conflict with are argumentative, stop arguing.

4.If the people you’re in conflict with won’t see the validity of your position, you’re not seeing the validity of theirs. 

5.If the people you’re in conflict with don’t seem to want to arrive at a consensus, neither do you.

You now know that you’re more in control of the resolution of the conflict than you think.

Count on it. It’s the law.

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